70

“You look really great for 70,” said a young friend last Saturday, the day before my birthday.

He meant that as a compliment, and I’ll take it.

There were times a few years ago when I didn’t think I would survive. And perhaps a few times when I didn’t want to. But, I’m still here. I’m grateful, and I’m happy.

As I get older, I realize that happiness is a choice. I choose to be happy.

Despite what you might’ve heard, 70 is not the new 50. But it’s not quite the old 70, either. I am as busy as I have ever been. I also work out more, doing cardio and weight training, than I ever have. (I’ll tell you a little secret: the older you get, the harder you have to work.)

I never wanted to train more than I could sustain, but as I get older, I can sustain a lot more than I used to. That’s crazy, but that’s my experience.

I’m also busier intellectually than I’ve been since those long-ago days in public policy and politics. I’m learning and doing and creating as much as I can while I still have the capacity to do it. I’m also trying to travel more while I’m still physically able.

I’m more content. I’m kinder. I have wonderful friends, all over the world. And I have a good social network in my home bases of St. Petersburg and Washington DC.

I’m single, and at times I wish I were not. So, I guess I’m still learning patience and acceptance. Most days, I do OK. It’s a tolerable loneliness… which is, after all, the essential human condition.

Because of midlife addiction, I was forced to do some really hard work to understand myself. To grow up. To deal with the trauma I experienced because of the time and place in which I was born. To reckon with my own unique experiences of physical, sexual and emotional abuse in childhood. To recognize how I was affected by the existential trauma of AIDS that tore my generation apart in our 20s and 30s. To process the abuse I suffered during the drug years. And, finally, to find peace after the brutal assault and rape I experienced in January 2023.

I am resilient. I’m still here. There is a Sondheim song there, or maybe a tune from Elton John. Or a disco anthem.

I’m still here, trying to be the best, kindest and happiest version of me I can be.

So this year, unlike most years, I am celebrating my November birthday. It’s good to be 70.

To mark the occasion, I did a photo shoot with Geoffrey Baris of St. Petersburg Portraits and Five Deuces Galleria. Five Deuces was the first local commercial gallery to show my work, and it’s always wonderful working with Geoffrey. He made me look good.

I created three larger pieces the month of October.